


Hold Me Close (I Have to Let Go)

by chibi_nightowl



Category: Batman (Comics), Nightwing (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Space, Angst, Language, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Rough Sex, Space Cop - Freeform, Space Pirate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-21
Updated: 2018-04-21
Packaged: 2019-04-25 19:48:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14385873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chibi_nightowl/pseuds/chibi_nightowl
Summary: Dick bites back his instinctual reply. “Iwillcatch you this time, Jason. You and that pretty little ship of yours is coming back to Gotham with me.”“Big words, Dickie. Gotta keep up.”





	Hold Me Close (I Have to Let Go)

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah...umm...porn with plot ahead.

It’s a quiet day, hiding out in a pitted crater on Tethys, waiting for something to happen. Dick really should have known better than sign up for this particular patrol route, but he’s been off duty for a while, so slowly working his way back into the saddle is a good thing. The old phrase from Earth and its cowboy days in the wild west make him smile. Hard to believe the police force has changed so much in just five hundred years. 

Then again, human nature really hasn’t. From bandits of old to pirates of today, an officer of the law’s job is never done. 

Dick checks his scanners once more before rising from the captain’s chair. He’s never enjoyed sitting for long periods of time, always preferring action over inaction. Just like the thrill of flying through the air invigorates him, it’s the thrill of a good chase that makes his blood flow hotly through his veins. 

Well, there’s another thrill Dick enjoys almost as much, but considering the last time he saw Jason, the man shot him, so that significantly dampens his desire for anything (even a cuddle). Jason was defending his ship and his crew, yes, but he was also resisting arrest (again) and refused to allow customs officials to inspect the cubby holes _the Outlaw_ has for illicit cargo, something only the greenest of agents are clueless about. 

He’s always had a soft spot for the rough spoken younger man, ever since their naval academy days where Jason flew in the face of expectations and graduated with honors in a class three years above his own. His fall from grace was just as well documented as his rise, leading the once promising officer to resign his commission and gather a crew of misfits to form his own little trading company. One that often dabbles in alien contraband. 

Dick stretches carefully, feeling the pull of scar tissue in his shoulder from the blaster shot. The doctor told him to be grateful it was a clean shot, but that’s a bunch of bullshit considering Dick is an acrobat and gymnast at heart. The injury is his version of having his wings clipped. 

Revenge isn’t in his nature, but he looks forward to the opportunity to repay Jason the favor. 

How exactly is yet to be determined. Dick supposes it’ll come to him eventually. He sets the scanners to alert him of any activity before setting off to make something to eat. After his snack, Dick uses the somewhat long corridor between the bridge and the engine room to stretch out other muscles and start an easy tumbling routine he’d learned as a child. No flips were possible in the small patrol ship, but that doesn’t stop him from improvising. 

He’s worked up a light sweat when he hears a chime from the scanner. 

 _“Apollo-class shipping vessel approaching.”_  

Dick rolls easily onto his feet and returns to the bridge. There’s only one reason a ship of that size would be out here. 

“Stupid miners,” he mutters. Too much mining decades ago deteriorated Saturn’s rings to the point where the government finally stepped in and made the rings an intergalactic park where such operations were no longer allowed. It was a massive win for environmentalists. Visitors were only allowed by special permit. Of course, the edict has to be enforced too, which is where Dick comes in, at least until he’s cleared for more arduous missions. 

Taking a seat, Dick straps in and pulls up a grainy image of the incoming ship. He frowns. “Robin, take a look at that image. Are you pulling up the class based on imagery or the ship’s identification beacon?” 

His ship’s AI answers after a moment. _“Beacon, sir. Image analysis indicates a smaller of non-Earth origin. Possibly Tamaranean.”_  

Dick has a good idea what this one is doing out here, especially since the park entrance is on the other side of Saturn. Illegal ore miners need a larger ship, but ring runners like to take smaller ships and race in and out of the rings, dodging ancient rocks and ice that have been there since the formation of the planet. 

In other words, thrill seekers. 

“Hail the ship,” Dick announces. The communications channel opens. “Vessel, this is Captain Grayson of the Earth Federation Navy. You are in a restricted area. Please reverse course out of the park.” 

The voice Dick hears in response has him frowning. “Didn’t think they sent captains this far out for ring running.” 

He knows better than to fall for the bait. That’s just what the other ship wants. “Vessel, please reverse course or I will pursue.” 

A very familiar chuckle comes in clearly over the channel. “I look forward to it, _Dickieboy._ ” The ship veers directly towards the rings. 

 _“Jason,”_ Dick hisses in frustration. He hits a few switches and the clamps holding his ship in place release, the engines flaring to life as he eases away from the icy crater on Tethys. “What are you doing here?” 

“I got tired of sims, thought I’d try the real thing.” Dick can just imagine the other man’s grin. Jason is one of the best pilots ever to graduate from the naval academy. Simulators aren’t challenging. Only real piloting gives them the rush of adrenaline that’s more addicting than any stimulant. 

“You know I’m going to catch you,” Dick tries as he sets course after Jason’s ship. He takes a deep breath, trying to calm his racing heart. This is the chance he’s been waiting for, Jason’s cocky attitude be damned. 

“We’ll see about that. How’s the shoulder?” 

 _“Fuck you.”_ Dick doesn’t swear often, but even he’s surprised by the vehemence behind the words. A ghost of an ache twinges in his scarred shoulder. “I know how good a shot you are. You hit me there on purpose.” 

“I swear to God, it was an accident,” Jason retorts. His ship is about to enter the rings. “I know what flying means to you. We may be on opposite sides of the law now, but I would never purposefully take that away from you.” 

Dick wants to believe it. He wants to believe the young man who had been his lover for so long. But the day Jason shot him, any hope he had for them making things work died. Or so he keeps telling himself. It doesn’t stop him from rubbing salt into the wound. “The doctor isn’t sure if I’ll ever get my full range of motion back, even if I opt for a shoulder replacement.” 

“Christ, Dickie…I’m sorry.” Jason sounds like he means it. 

“We both knew this would happen someday,” Dick replies, trying hard to keep the venom from his voice. “You made your choice and I made mine.” 

“Doesn’t mean I’m gonna stop trying to get you to see the light, Dick. You _know_ I’m right about the Earth Federation. It’s why you’re never able to arrest me.” The small ship breaches the outmost ring and immediately starts ducking and diving between the debris. 

Dick bites back his instinctual reply. He does agree with Jason’s rhetoric, but only to a point. Real change comes from within, not some rebel rousing group of dissidents. “I _will_ catch you this time, Jason. You and that pretty little ship of yours is coming back to Gotham with me.” 

“Big words, Dickie. Gotta keep up.” 

The patrol ship reaches the edge of the ring and for a moment, Dick hesitates. He doesn’t have to chase after Jason. All he has to do is call this in, report that he’s in pursuit of Jason Todd, leader of the Red Hood Gang and captain of _the Outlaw_. Ships will swarm in like flies and establish a perimeter that even a pilot of Jason’s caliber would find challenging. That’s assuming some enterprising individual doesn’t take a shot at him. His current ship is a little two-man star-fighter and while it has shielding, it can’t take a repeated beating. Because one shot will become two, three, four as others join in. 

It’s not much of a choice. 

“Goddammit,” Dick swears again. He takes the ship off autopilot and enters the rings, ignoring the warning ping from Robin about the hazards of doing so. 

The chase is on. 

And damn if it doesn’t feel good. This is exactly what Dick’s been missing during his months of recuperation and physical therapy, something to test the bounds of his endurance physically and mentally. He jukes and jives through the debris in the rings, trying to keep his ship intact all the while attempting to gain the upper hand and close the distance between him and Jason. His patrol ship has a tractor beam he can put into play if he can just get close enough. 

Jason’s laughter echoes through the bridge. “Now this is living, Dickie. Fuck those rules of yours and let it all out.” 

“The last time I let it all out, I ended up with a court martial because Admiral Wayne caught us with my cock in your mouth.” 

“Ah, good times.” 

It was, even if the Admiral now knew what kind of face Dick made when he came. He’d been right there on the edge when Bruce Wayne walked into the room and Jason’s rumble of discontent over the interruption sent Dick spiraling over the edge. It wouldn’t have been too bad, except for the fact they were both in their dress uniforms and Dick was fucking Jason’s mouth in the middle of a navy ball. 

The memory distracts Dick just long enough that he barely skirts the rock hurtling in off his starboard side. He mentally shakes himself. This is a game to Jason. He’s trying to distract him. “Where’d you steal that pretty little piece, huh? Didn’t think you flew anything other than _the Outlaw_ these days.” 

“She’s a modified Tamaranean star-fighter. Sweet piece of work, I may add. If you’re lucky, I’ll let you get a good look at her. See what makes her purr.” 

“The only place she’s going is the impound.” Dick manages to put on a burst of speed. They’re almost to the edge of the inner ring. If he can just get a little closer, the tractor beam can lock on and haul Jason out of the debris field. 

“Come on, Dickie. I brought her out just for you.” 

Almost there. Jason couldn’t know about the upgrades made to the newer patrol ships. Despite the cocksucking incident, Dick has a near perfect record and his charming personality helps guarantee he gets all the new toys. “Is that so? You think I’m that easy?” 

A raucous laugh meets his ears. “I _know_ you’re that easy. And if I win our little race, I’ll prove it to you.” 

Dick growls as Jason steers his ship just out of range again. The smaller ship has the advantage here and they both know it. “The only thing you’re going to prove is how well you look in cuffs.” 

“Kinky. You wanna fuck me in that captain’s chair of yours? Take me for a ride?” 

Things are rapidly getting out of control, which makes Dick tap down on his rising interest and focus on the task at hand. Jason is temptation incarnate, always managing to hit all of Dick’s buttons, from his loud mouth to the muscular body that takes his cock so damned well. Just as Jason knew they would, his words are stirring emotions inside him, emotions that Dick thought were gone. 

Feelings that should be gone. 

“Jason, do you really think I want to fuck you after what you took away from me?” 

“It’s called a hate fuck for a reason.” There’s a hint of bitterness in the man’s voice. “I owe you that much.” 

Dick feels like he’s taken a punch in the gut and for a brief moment, it’s hard to breathe. His voice is harsh as he replies. “You don’t owe me that. I’d never want you to do that.” 

Jason’s laugh has a brittle edge to it. “Maybe I need it.” 

“You need your head checked.” Dick understands what’s going on now. Jason is wallowing in his guilt over what he’d done. Whenever he does this, self-destructive behavior soon follows. He may not be suicidal, but he’s keen to hurt himself, trading one type of pain for another. “Jason, I don’t hate you for what you did. It’s like you said…we’re on opposites now. What we had before, we’ll never have that back.” 

Dick pulls back on the throttle and veers off towards the edge of the inner ring. He’s not playing this game anymore. 

“Where the hell do you think you’re going?” Jason sounds upset. 

“Back to my position on Tethys. I’ve got work to do. Work that doesn’t involve chasing after you.” 

The line is silent as Dick dives down under the rings and returns to the icy moon. Now that the chase is over, he’s worn out, physically and mentally. Dealing with Jason when he’s in one of these moods is exhausting. To be fair though, Dick is still uncertain over what he’d do if he and the man came face to face again. He wouldn’t shoot him, no. Punch him, probably. But Jason would just stand there and take it, which is counterproductive to what Dick wants. 

He sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose to fend off his impending headache. What does he want? It’s all too easy to say he wants to go back to the past and have things be the way they were before. He’s been accused of living in the past by Barbara and she’s not entirely wrong in her claims. But Dick loves his memories of times gone by, especially as some people he’ll only see again when he does so. 

Dick switches the ship back into standby mode and rises from his chair. He needs a drink, something he knows he’s not going to get while he’s on duty. 

As he leaves the bridge, he stops short, hand flying to his hip and the blaster he doesn’t have there at moment. “How did you get in here?” 

Jason stands in the short hallway leading to the back of the ship. He’s a little thinner than Dick remembers, more careworn and tired, but he’s still wearing the same leather jacket over his dark gray flight suit, the same as he has since leaving the navy. There’s a blaster strapped to each heavily muscled thigh, but they’re both holstered. A bottle of something hangs loosely in a gloved hand. 

“That alien technology you guys frown so much upon.” A crooked smile appears briefly on his generous mouth before disappearing. “And before you ask, no, I can’t teleport just anywhere.” 

Dick uses every bit of self control he possesses not to throw himself upon the younger man, even if he’s hard pressed to admit if it’s for a fight or something else. “You’re still trespassing.” 

“And you still have that stick up your ass about the rules.” Jason holds up the bottle. “My secondary peace offering,” he announces. “Vodka.” 

That’s…that’s something Dick can do. He strides past Jason on his way to the galley. “We’ll need glasses.” 

They’re two shots in before Jason breaks the silence. “I really am sorry, Dick. I didn’t mean to shoot you. Not there, at least.” He’s sprawled out in the too small chairs of the tiny dinette. 

Dick swirls around the clear alcohol in his glass and knocks back half of it. “I know. I think you were trying to graze me, get me to back down.” 

Jason’s nodding, his teal eyes staring intently at him. “Yeah. But you’re a bendy fucker, you prick.” 

“So you’ve said many times.” Dick grins cheekily and finishes off the shot. The good alcohol combined with his exhaustion is leaving him in a rather lethargic state. At the same time, the hooded look Jason gives him makes him shift uncomfortably in his chair. 

“Doesn’t make it any less true.” Jason pours himself another shot and downs it quickly. 

Dick leans back in his chair, pushing it off the ground so that he’s balanced easily on only two legs. It’s showing off and they both know it. Jason laughs, just like Dick wants him to. “What do you really want, Jason?” he asks. “I’ve already forgiven you.” 

Jason’s mouth opens and closes a few times, trying to find the right words. “I guess…” he sighs heavily before he continues. “I guess I just want one more time with you. Closure.” 

Closure. Dick rolls the word around in his head. Yeah, that’s a good word to describe what he wants from Jason. Whether they manage it in the future is a whole other thing, but out of respect for what they once had, he’s willing to give him this. Sitting up, Dick plants all four legs of the chair back down on the floor. “One last time,” he agrees. 

The small chairs are not designed to hold the weight of two full grown men, but they do their best before the warning creaks drive them out of the galley. At first, Dick tries to lead Jason towards his bunk, but a better idea replaces it. “You still want me to fuck you in the bridge?” he whispers, licking a stripe down Jason’s neck and biting down hard on the skin. It’ll leave a mark, but he doesn’t care. “Take you for a ride in my chair and see how wide you can still spread those thighs of yours?” 

No one ever expects Dick to have a filthy mouth. He doesn’t normally. Only with Jason. 

“Yes,” Jason moans, raking his fingers through Dick’s hair. He’s lost his gloves somewhere already, as well as his jacket. 

Dick shoves him in the right direction. “I hope you at least brought lube. I don’t have anything since this is supposed to be a short patrol.” 

“What are they teaching you guys now, huh? So much for always being prepared.” Jason tosses a wink over his shoulder. 

Dick narrows his eyes and stares suspiciously at Jason’s ass. He wouldn’t…would he? His fingers itch to find out. Before Dick sits down, he reaches behind his neck and starts to unzip his black flight suit. It’s one of his own design, with an electric blue stripe running down each arm and onto his fingers. He peels it down the upper half of his body and takes a seat, spinning it around so that they don’t accidently knock into something they shouldn’t. 

Jason immediately locks onto the scar on Dick’s left shoulder. The entry wound is small in the front but they both know the real damage is on his back where the energy blast pierced through. He reaches out, but Dick knocks his hand aside. “Strip,” he orders instead. 

It takes a moment before Jason’s head gets back in the game. “Yes, sir,” he replies with an insolent grin. The same one that used to drive their instructors insane. 

The dark gray suit is two pieces. Jason pulls the top off in one smooth move and tosses the shirt behind him onto the few steps that lead up into the bridge. He raises a booted foot and purposefully plants it between Dick’s thighs while he removes it, repeating the movement with the other one. He shimmies out of the pants, never once taking his eyes off Dick, still managing to give him a challenging look as though Dick is the one about to get fucked and not the other way around. 

Typical Jason. 

He stands bare as the day he was born in front of him, hands on his hips as Dick rakes his eyes up and down the powerfully built body. Jason may be a bit thinner, but from the looks of it, the overly bulky muscle he’d packed on immediately after leaving the navy has tapered down into a trimmer build that suits him much better. He’s proportional now, from his broad shoulders all the way down to the thick thighs Dick needs wrapped around his waist _now._  

Still, first things first. Dick reaches out and trails a finger down, then back up the cock already standing at attention between those thighs. A dribble of precome beads at the tip and he swirls it around, massaging it into the flushed skin. It excites him to see Jason this ready for him, but Dick draws his hand back. He’s the one in charge here. 

“Do you want to suck me first before you take your seat?” he asks, patting his still clothed lap. 

“God, yes.” Jason drops to his knees and instantly tugs the waist of Dick’s suit and underwear over his hips, under his ass, to stop midway down his own thighs. His length springs free, not quite as hard as Jason’s, but it’ll get there with a little love and affection. 

Jason’s mouth is absolute heaven, Dick decides as the man takes him in with very little effort. He’s no stranger to blowjobs, but Jason hands down is the best at them. His mouth and tongue work eagerly together against Dick’s hardening flesh. Fingers brush against his sac and tug gently before trailing further back. The chair prevents Jason from reaching Dick’s entrance, which makes him whine at being denied. The sound vibrates against his cock and Dick has to grab at Jason’s hair to pull him back. He didn’t realize Jason had him down his throat already. “Fuck,” he breathes, strong fingers digging into his hips to keep him from thrusting forward. 

Pulling off completely, Jason licks the head of his cock, his lips shiny with spit. “As much as I love how you fuck my mouth, I’d much rather you fuck something else. You ready for me?” 

Dick nods and Jason reaches into the pocket of his pants, removing a condom and a small packet of lube. He tosses the condom at him and rips open the packet to squeeze some out onto his fingers. Dick watches, entranced, as Jason reaches behind him. He wants to be the one to stretch him out, get him ready for what’s to come. Jason always looked so pretty riding his fingers… 

“We’re not getting any younger here.” 

Dick snaps out of it and tears open the condom, carefully rolling it on and pinching the tip to make sure it’s on properly. 

Jason grins down at him. “So how do we want to do this? I think I can fit over the arms of this thing…” He crawls up from the floor and tries to straddle Dick. Their cocks manage to rub against each other, but there’s no way this is going to work. 

“How about this?” Dick draws one leg up and over the arm and guides Jason’s body down over his length. The ease with which he glides through his crack tells him that his initial guess was right. Jason had to have prepped himself before coming here. Dick lets out a moan as the tip of his cock makes its way inside Jason’s body. “Yesss…” 

He manages to drag out a similar sound from Jason. “Yesss…fuck, Dickie, I need to move…” 

Jason twists and somehow manages to throw his other leg over the arm of the chair. Dick immediately wraps his arms around Jason to support his weight and slide further into him. The man scrambles and settles on grabbing hold of the back of the chair with one hand and the other plants itself firmly on Dick’s thigh. The angle forces him further onto Dick’s cock, a move which has Jason’s mouth hanging open and a breathy moan escaping. “Fuck, Dick. Why do you always feel so good?” 

Dick wants to ask Jason the same question, but instead rocks his hips and thrusts into the warm body above him. Even in a temperature controlled spaceship, the coldness of space somehow manages to worm its way in. Jason has always run warm, so Dick holds him as close as he can as he fucks into him. 

The odd angle caused by the chair has them both struggling before long, even with how flexible Jason proves himself to still be. Wordlessly, Dick pushes him off and groans as cold air hits his rather sensitive flesh. He turns his chair to face the console and tugs Jason onto his lap, his back facing him this time. “Grab the edge of the display and for God’s sake, don’t touch anything,” Dick orders as he grips Jason’s hips and slides back into him. 

“Shit, you don’t want to send this to the Admiral? Maybe a little hello from Saturn message for his piece of shit son? He still all up in your business? I know he wants you.” Jason gasps as the new angle allows Dick to thrust harder and faster into his slicked up body. 

Yes, this is what Dick wants. Jason, warm and writhing around him, spouting off obscenities between trying to boss him around. This moment is so perfect that he never wants it to end. But Dick feels the telltale tightening in his balls, signaling his release is fast approaching. He reaches around and grabs hold of Jason’s neglected cock and strokes him firmly, managing to maintain the same rhythm of his rocking hips. 

“Dickie,” Jason moans, his head hanging down between his braced arms as he takes every hard thrust. “Come on. You can do better than that. _Fuck me.”_  

Dick surges out of his chair and Jason barely manages to plant his feet on the deck before he’s shouting as Dick lets go of all his restraint and simply takes Jason as hard as he can. No other lover ever manages to make him lose control like this. Only Jason does and he’s shouting his approval while coming all over Dick’s hand. His body spasms and clamps down around Dick’s cock. So tight, so warm and then his rhythm is broken as he snaps his hips forward in short, stutter jerks as he comes inside Jason. 

They collapse back into the chair, panting and gasping for air. The chill air rapidly cools down their sweaty bodies, but Dick doesn’t want to let go. He knew this would happen if he had sex with Jason, that he’s going to cling even when he knows he shouldn’t. This is supposed to be the end. One last hurrah and all that jazz. 

Perhaps if he doesn’t look at him, he’ll be able to do this. Dick buries his face in Jason’s shoulder and holds on tight. 

Jason doesn’t make any move to go either, even though he’s a sticky mess and that’s going to be gross cleaning up unless he does something about it now. The normal high Dick feels after good sex is sadly lacking here, the endorphins swiftly being replaced by sadness. 

“I don’t want to let you go,” Dick admits in a small voice. 

“I don’t want you to either,” Jason replies, just as hushed as him. 

“I can’t…I’ve always had a problem with this.” 

“I know.” Jason’s hand brushes over Dick’s and grabs hold of his fingers. “I wish I knew what to say and tell you it’s gonna be alright, but we both know that’s a lie.” 

Dick sighs and breathes in the musky scent that’s all Jason and sex in the closed in space. The air filtration system will have it gone shortly, removing any signs of what took place here. He breathes in again, solidifying the scent in his memory. Because this is what Dick does. Reliving memories to keep the past alive. This moment, and the events leading up to it, will not be forgotten. 

With that thought firmly in mind, Dick unwraps his arms from around Jason and lets him go.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Why am I unable to give Jason and Dick a happy ending? I swear, I didn't think this would happen when I started it!!


End file.
